OC is currently taking donations for Evan's Christmans present.
Like Patty and Selma Bouvier, I'd sit on my ass smoke cigarettes and watch every episode--thrice. Productivity would drop considerably.
Might I suggest a lightning rod to divert the "hate" away from Evan's shinny head. Or, perhaps boxing gloves and a bulletproof vest for any time he leaves Greenville.
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Sadly, my first thought was "hey, put in on his registry."