The Bald and The Beardiful: A Celebration of Presidents

Posted 1 year ago by Adam Gautsch

A bald eagle with a beard. The perfect mascot.

Here are the facts: there hasn’t been a President with facial hair since William Taft was elected 1909,1 and there hasn’t been one who is bald since Dwight Eisenhower was elected in 1953. These facts sadden us. We want more politicians unafraid to take a risk and willing to play the hand genetics dealt them.

We need more brave bearded men (and women) in office and fewer plastic department store clothing mannequins. Let’s face it, figuring out the solutions to the terrible unemployment numbers and the potential meltdown of the Euro is hard work. Even the smartest and most skilled politician might not be able to solve these problems.2 Nonetheless, we are sure a President who thinks while stroking his beard stands a much better chance.

Darwin, Einstein, and Santa Claus all prove that substantial facial hair leads to true genius. Barack, Mitt, and Newt: if you want our vote, throw the razor away and embrace the beard.3

What’s the Big Idea

For the month of February, the month of Presidents’ Day, we celebrate the bearded and bald Presidents of the United States. Evan and Roxy are going to take turns creating 10 minute4 pieces of art inspired by the 16 Presidents who were bald, bearded, moustached, sideburneded, mulleted, or any combination of those. We’ll share these drawings here and on Dribbble. If anyone else wants to join in with their own art, we encourage you to do so.

Which Presidents Make the Cut

Footnotes:

  1. Back in 2001 I worked in politics. Bob Peeler was running for governor. At one big event, someone came up to me and said, “I’ll never vote for Bob Peeler. He has mustache and men with facial hair have something to hide.” (Back)
  2. That’s a lie. The jobs one is easy. Educate our damn workforce to be able to handle work at modern jobs. Now, figuring out how to pay for the education, that’s a little tougher.(Back)
  3. Newt still probably won’t get our vote. Colonies on the moon are cool and all, but we can’t pull the lever for a man name Newt. (Back)
  4. So far, they’ve all taken longer than 10 minutes, but we use our whole ass here at OrangeCoat and sometimes that takes longer than one would like. (Back)

5 Comments

Kevin C ~ 2 years ago

Both Abe Simpson and I are deeply sadded to see Grover Cleveland listed only once.

Carp ~ 2 years ago

As follow up, you guys should draw each of the presidential candidates with a beard or balding and provide a small bio on how much cooler they would be because of the modification.

Mark Schweizer ~ 2 years ago

In the golden days of history no public figure in his right mind would venture out into the world without a beard at least the size and shape of a beer barrel and that made up at least a quarter of his total body weight. A beard was a status symbol, something to be cherished by all the family. Not only that but a really enviable face-bush was also an indication of intelligence and respectability, even heroism and genius. In Victorian London there were clubs for which to gain entry a member was expected to sport a beard of length reaching at least to mid-chest level. During some periods of history it was popularly said that a man was not truly a gentleman if his beard was not of a size capable of concealing at least a medium sized turkey.

Visitor ~ 1 year ago

These are sweet. I teach government at community college - any chance you'd let me paste these into the slides I use for class presentations?

Adam Gautsch ~ 1 year ago

Of course. Just remember, when you speak of us-- be kind.

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