So I'm offering a $10,000 reward for the safe return of my golf clubs and MP3 player.
"How are you ever going to pay a reward like that?"
"It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!"
So I go to last night's Pulse kick off event at Deveraux's downtown. We leave at 5:30p. To save gas the group of us consolidate our efforts and car pool. I leave my hoopty unattended in the parking lot at my office. I think you see where this is going.
Come back later around 10p and notice my interior light is on. I quickly hop in and turn it on to see if the battery is going to be ok. It is. But why is the light on? Oh well, I probably accidently hit it on my way out. But why is my back window open too--I distinctly remember shutting it earlier. I chalk it up to my car sucking and go back into the office for another hour before driving home.
Then today I saddle up for a morning meeting and head into town. My MP3 player and file folder are gone! Shit. I start putting 2 and 2 together. I'd been robbed. I looked around the interior and my coffee cup was on the floor, and some things from my glove box were on the seat. Now I'm pissed.
I file a police report and go on about my day. Then an hour later I think, "I'd love to go hit some golf balls to blow off some steam. " Wait? I wonder if those bastards got into my trunk? Nah, there's too much junk in there (tailgate grill, tarp, folding chairs, platic bags, spare oil, blankets).
Evidently, the surrounding area is secluded enough that these theives had plenty of time to quietly remove all of the junk on top of my clubs (I can't overstate how much crap there was) and put them into another car (because what thief is going to carry around a bulky golf bag?).
Now I'm supremely pissed.
All that on top of my recent auto repairs adds up to a nice chunk of money and assets leaving my possession in the past 7 days.
Please send donations to BOX 1811, Greenville, SC 29602. Or perhaps directly to the crack heads who stole my stuff, they probably need the money more and it'll hopefully keep them away from my stuff in the future. However, if you have an extra set of lefty golf clubs that you'd like to donate, I'll arrange for a pickup!
As a disclaimer, there's no actual $10,000 reward just as "there's no basement in the Alamo!."