When goldfish attack.
Do not mess with goldfish. Their cheesy deliciousness is just a ploy to get you to reach on down in the box for a big handful only to later say, "ah hell why am I missing fingers?" Crafty snack foods, don't even get me started on gummy bears.
I was mauled by gummy worms once.
Britney will have her kids back before you see me with my mitts in a box of Barnum's animal crackers. While admittedly less tasty, other brands are acceptable as long as they remain cougar-free.
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