Long story short.
ME: "When does the flight to Huatulco depart?"
IDIOT: "That one's been changed to 6:55 you have enough time to get there. Follow the M1 signs to gate 19C"
ME: Follows signs to 19C
ME: Does not see a sign anywhere saying "Huatulco"
ME: "Is this the right gate for Huatulco?"
IDIOT #2: "Let me check... Oh. No, you have to go to gate 7"
ME: "Ok. I still have 20 minutes. Sweet."
ME: Goes through some sort of customs checkpoint
ME: Gets to gate 7
No one is there. wtf?
ME: "Is this the correct gate for the flight to Huatulco?"
IDIOT #3: "OHH! No! That left 20 minutes ago."
I actually said to a fellow American in a similar predicament, "I'd give anything to be flying out of Newark right now."