Not eating these foods for good reasons

Posted 8 years ago by Adam Gautsch

A list of reasons I'm not eating four of the eleven best foods you aren’t eating.

  1. Beets taste like red death and stain clothing easily. (I spill a lot)
  2. I once paid six or seven dollars for a single 12 ounce bottle of Pomegranate juice. Never again my friends, it would be cheaper to drink gasoline.
  3. Bob Kovac once made me eat an entire can of sardines and dip them all in mustard. I didn't particularly like the sardines and mustard is the condiment of the devil. So the taste association for sardines is pretty damn bad.
  4. I'm pretty sure that Zachary Taylor died by eating frozen fruit, so frozen blueberries are off the list too.

2 Comments

Evan Tishuk ~ 8 years ago

It's as if this list was written for me.

Half of my caloric intake comes from frozen fruits. Blueberries especially.

Prunes are so good. Anyone who doesn't think so hasn't had good prunes before. Jimmy C can back me up on this.

Sardines in marinara on rye bread with thinly sliced onions and a little bit of vinegar is great stuff. Sardines and mustard don't below together, I'll agree with that. I haven't eaten many sardines since living with Meg, because she finds them revolting. But, I may start buying them again, if someone wants to help me finish off a can.

I love beets. They are earthy, packed with iron, and absolutely delicious. My grandmother used to mix beets into her home made horse radish, giving it an unusually inviting pink color. Of course, the color belied the potency of the paste. Oh, and horse radish on a sardine sandwich isn't a bad idea either.

Generally, I prefer cabbage in the forms of sauerkraut and halushki. Raw cabbage doesn't do it for me quite as much.

Pomegranates are evidently packed with anti-oxidants. But so are blueberries and they taste better and cost less. This is a fruit that needs to get over itself.

Pumpkin seeds are not that good. Even when they are shelled, they're just an average taste that requires a lot of salt. Putting pumpkin seeds on blueberries (as the author suggests) is just absurd.

Zachary Taylor died from choking on a bacon-wrapped deviled egg. It's called history, get used to it.

Adam Gautsch ~ 8 years ago

If I died by eating a bacon-wrapped deviled egg I would have died a truly happy man and hence be alright with it.

For reservations, call office(800) 890-1702. Send fan mail to our work location at 101 N Main Street, Third Floor, Greenville, SC 29601 USA 34.850823 -82.398746
Lovingly crafted by orangecoat with some rights reserved, and a promise not to spam you.

Back to top