Paparazzi photos captured the brutal beating by a group of teenage thugs.
An anonymous tipsters said the group became irritated after years of randomly generated spats of incessant beeping. Apparently, having to power on the microwave and set the clock before each cup of tea is too much manual labor for the coming generation of tech savvies.
The leader of the group, identified only as Evan T., was heard humbling, "power on....clock....12:30....clock....1 minute...start....power off".
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Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.