The OC Fights: Round 1

Posted February 02, 2007 by Adam Gautsch

Tale of the tape has been outsourced to Wikipedia:

Mr. Miyagi



olivier blanchard ~ February 02, 2007

Miyagi would win at rock/paper/scissors. I know that much.

Can Yoda even fight without a lightsaber?

Adam Gautsch ~ February 02, 2007

"Can Yoda even fight without a lightsaber?"

I considered not even dignifying that questions with a response. But seriously, the SOB catches lighting with his hand and throws it back at people, he pulls things off the wall with the force and throws the objects at people. He catches f'ing lighting. I think he'll be fine without a lightsaber.

olivier blanchard ~ February 02, 2007

I knew a guy in college who was really good at catching Syphillis. It didn't make him a good fighter.

Seriously. I never saw Yoda Karate-chop anyone, and I'll bet his crane style is a little off.

He can twirl really fast. I'll give him that.

wwh ~ February 02, 2007

chuck norris wins, blindfolded.

olivier blanchard ~ February 02, 2007

Damn. Trumped by Chuck again. I never even saw it coming.

Adam Gautsch ~ February 02, 2007

Let me also point out:
Yoda's greatest fights versus Mr. Miyagi's. Bless that YouTube.

PS: knew a guy in college who was really good at catching Syphillis. It didn’t make him a good fighter.-- pretty good line.

olivier blanchard ~ February 02, 2007

Okay, okay... I think that Yoda would win against Miyagi San in a nor-rules brawl.


1) Miyagi San made appearances on Sanford & Son. Yoda didn't.
2) Miyagi San knows a thing or two about cars. All I ever saw Yoda do besides fight and pontificate was boil foul mushroom soup.
3) Miyagi San wears a cool headband. Yoda doesn't.
4) Miyagi San's command of the english language is just a tad better than Yoda's.
5) Miyagi can catch flies with chopsticks. Yoda would cheat and use the Force to coerce the flies into landing in the palm of is hand.
6) Miyagi wears sandals. Yoda walks barefoot everywhere.

I think that Miyagi is - overall - a more balanced man than Yoda.

Evan Tishuk ~ February 02, 2007

We all know that Miyagi and Yoda would never fight each other. Both (force or not) are too nice to engage in real combat. But, for the sake of argument, I really think you have to handicap Miyagi a little. (1) any fight would have to take place on Earth in Okinawa when Miyagi was in his prime--I imagine Jedi's could figure out how to go back in time (2) No light sabers (3) usage of the force cannot include moving Mr. Miyagi himself with mind-bullets.

A further note, who knows if the conventional laws of physics even apply in a galaxies far far away. Up might be down and light might travel faster or slower. Weak and strong nuclear forces may be entirely different. Aside from everyone speaking English in far away galaxies, I don't think we're comparing apples to apples here.

jimmy ~ February 02, 2007

the real question is the fight club question. Who would win in a fight: Martin Luther King, Jr. or Ghandi?

olivier blanchard ~ February 02, 2007

Ghandi. Without question.

Jim ~ February 03, 2007

I'd say Yoda wins any way you look at it. Even without the use of the force, he'd be able to jump and flip around in an evasive strategy that would eventually wear Mr. Miyagi out. A few swift swings of the cane would finish him off.

Jim Ciallella ~ February 04, 2007

Let us not underestimate the power of the
Crane Kick
..... Johnny underestimated its power and ended up eating mat like a little bitch.

Official Ruling for the Italian Judge.
No mercy, Miyagi wins, flawless victory, fatality.

western ~ February 05, 2007

Oh what a fine debate it is…obviously, if Yoda is permitted to use his lightsaber there would be no cause for argument…although Mr. Miyagi proved that he is no slouch with a pike in Karate Kid II.

In a straight-up, no holds barred, bare-knuckle fight in the octagon, Mr. Miyagi wins. I’m sure Yoda would use the Force and try to kill Mr. Miyagi by throwing the air conditioning unit or some other large metallic object. Miyagi would simply employ the two-sided drum technique and dodge all flying projectiles. As the entire crowd wiggles their own personal two-sided drums back and forth creating a mesmerizing “thwack-thwack” sound, Miyagi claps and rubs his hands together. Yoda crouches in fear, but suddenly spins at light speed employing a helicopter attack. Miyagi catches Yoda by the head…the extraordinary heat created by the hand rubbing melts Yoda’s wax ears to his head. Miyagi then shifts his grip and choke-slams the green one, melting his wind pipe. With his hand on Yoda’s throat, Miyagi asks, “Live or die?” When Yoda responds, “Die…” , Miyagi melts Yoda’s nose and says, “Wrong…HONK!!!”

The End

ihatetrucks ~ February 05, 2007

The only time Yoda has ever even been touched it was a fluke. Yoda is untouchable. Miyagi would be limited by the fact that he is much bigger then Yoda. If they were equal size, I would give the edge to Miyagi but Yoda would so Tasmanian devil in a fit of green rage even the Hulk would be impressed with the carnage. This is all pointless though. We all know that the fate of the winner would be to face a singe round house kick and some serious beard rub. The force is just Chuck's gas from a bad night of tequila and questionable second tier Mexican food.

Adam Gautsch ~ February 05, 2007


Where did you get the idea that Yoda was made of wax?

Susan ~ February 05, 2007

Really....everyone knows Muppets are only made of rubber/latex or felt.

I don't like all the conditional handicaps we've placed on Yoda here. I mean, if we're having to list all the things necessary to level the playing field, doesn't that answer the question for us? I like Mr. Miyagi, but one of the things I like most is his sense of respect --upon their meeting he would bow to Yoda's superiority. I actually think they'd be fast friends, and maybe combine their schools. Only problem is, Daniel tires quickly of Luke's whining.

western ~ February 06, 2007

wax / foam-rubber = same, same

Phendrew1313 ~ February 10, 2007

Miyagi would kick butt!! He'd have the Fonz on his side, and we all know the Fonz would use his cool points to buy that victory. Yoda would of course use the force and throw things and all but Miyagi would wax on and wax off the little green ones attacks. As for lighting catching, when did Miyagi ever throw lightning? Would be a great Celebrity Death Match though. Would like to see Yoda's ear get caught in the chopsticks and then the hammer nail move right on his wrinkled nose.

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